Thursday, March 10, 2011

What's Important

Expectations of others can be a tricky thing.  Because really you only control yourself, and when you expect something from another person, you often end up disappointed.  The older I get, the more I realize that the number of people I can count on this world is getting smaller and smaller.

Planning the wedding has brought a lot of these issues up as well.  Not only expectations I have of others, but their expectations of Mr. C and I as well.  Here is a little bit of what I have figured out so far...

I think it is important to think about my own expectations, make sure I am clearly making those known to the people who need to know about them.  In that way, they will know what may or may not be expected of them, and I am not disappointed by my family and friends who are in no way mind readers.  Do I want to have a bridal shower?  Is it important for me to go away for a bachelorette or would I rather do something low key with my closest girlfriends?

This doesn't only apply to wedding planning, but relationships as well.  I haven't gone through any sort of pre-marital counseling or pre-cana classes yet, but from what I've read about others who have, this is often something that is talked about between fiances.  What are your expectations about family?  Children?  Money?  Chores?

I also have realized I should check in more often with others of what they are looking for from me.  Is my mom expecting our second cousins (all dozens of them) to be invited to the wedding?  Is Mr. C's mom expecting to be involved in my morning of preparation, or Mr. C's?  Does my sister want her baby to be involved in the wedding?

I was making assumptions about these things, but I'm also realizing it's important to ask.  When you assume (all together now....) you make an ass out of you and me!

Have any of your expectations been put into check due to your wedding planning?  I'd love to hear whatever you think helped to keep your own (and others') expectations in check!

4 comments:

  1. i'm a new follower, and just thought i'd mention that my fiance and i did premarital counseling, and we did talk about expectations. i think it's really good to talk to others about expectations like you said. communication is key to ANY relationship and it's great you're figuring that out!

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  2. Managing expectations is a big part of relationships. I keep trying to get my family to be more explicit about things and not just assume that the other person knows. All of those assumptions jst create confusion followed by anger and disappointment.

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  3. Thanks all for commenting :) I think I had to get in check my own expectations and assumptions, because some if it was starting to bite me in the butt. So I'm now trying to make that all clear...but it's definitely something important to think about for wedding planning!

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