- The Need To Make Everything Sexy
- Feeling Uncomfortable with Myself
- Not Feeling Sexy Enough
- Trying to be Clever with my Costume
- Spending Money on Something I'll NEVER WEAR AGAIN
- The Pressure to Have a Blast
- The Pressure to Drink and Drink and Drink
- Did I mention turning ridiculous things 'sexy'?
- Having to Pay for EVERY Bar in NYC
- Feeling Self-Conscious ALL NIGHT
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
My name is also Jen, and I have been on my weight loss journey for just over a year now. I joined Weight Watchers about a year ago (although that was my third attempt) and I've been on this journey...off and on, ever since. I'm 25 years old (26 in just a few weeks!), just graduated from law school in June, unemployed, and engaged. Needless to say, this is the perfect storm for depression, emotional eating, and weight gain. And you know what, I did that for a time this summer. That was when my original weight loss of 19.8 pounds (I never quite hit that 20 pound mark...) shrunk to just 12. How quickly it comes right back on! Since trying to get back on track, I’m at about 15 pounds lost, and I’m hoping for another 30 pounds or so. I don’t aim to be thin; I’m aiming to be healthy.
Now, I'm not upset with where I am right now, but I know I can do better. Women in my Weight Watchers meetings are constantly shaking their heads at their little losses, but I’m learning to appreciate them. I’m certainly glad to not be where I was 15 pounds ago, and every pound and fraction of a pound counts, but I have other goals as well.
I want to become that person who shrugs at chocolate and cookies, who can scoff at even the thought of overeating, and who doesn't first react to stress by shoving food in her mouth. That is where I aim to be. Because when I get there, no matter the number on the scale, I know I will have succeeded. Time and time again it’s been said, but it is SO TRUE: this is about a state of mind and a way of life. If you get there, you win. And that is what it really is about for me. A state of mind, a way of life, looking forward without having to look back.
I'm facing some challenges right now with my exercising, as I was training for a half marathon this summer, and have been diagnosed with tendinitis. That means no running, jumping, twisting, elliptical-ing, etc for TWELVE WEEKS. Sure, the doctor said I can swim in a pool. But I'd like you to find me a pool, which I can swim in, for free, in the middle of
I also am trying to educate myself about food generally. Where it comes from, what it’s made of, how it was treated before it got to my table. I’ve done some reading, and I hope to do some more. If I were a billionaire, I would eat local and organic all the time. But I’m not…not even close. So I’m trying to also find ways to feed my desire to be organically vegetarian without spending a million dollars at the local farmer’s market. Sometimes I’m successful with that, but a lot more often, I’m not. But it’s part of my journey. Because I could probably lose 30 pounds a lot quicker on Slim Fast, but then I’m shoving my body with chemicals, and I’d rather eat a delicious piece of real cheese made on a farm in Upstate New York.
Reading other people's blogs has always inspired me. They don't always succeed. They don't always work out. And yes, sometimes, they shove their face with cookies when the going gets tough. Because that is real life. This journey is not about perfection or guaranteed success. It’s about learning to deal with life. And so, I'm hoping that being on the reverse side, as a blogger, can show me that learning will come from showing people my imperfections, my slip-ups, as well as my successes. I will become accountable, truly accountable, for the first time on this journey.
I'll be honest, I have delayed sending you this. I waited until the last minute because I am nervous and scared. Not about not getting picked. If I don't get picked, I'll still be on my journey no matter what. But about sharing. I'm scared for the world to see my weaknesses, to be able to freely judge my imperfections. But I'm hoping if I open myself up to that, it will make the rewards that much sweeter.
You can find my blog at jennybusybee.blogspot.com. It’s a bit of a mix of everything. I’ve got some healthy tips there, as well as things for my wedding, and a teeny tiny bit of my everyday life. I’m a first time blogger (unless you count my LiveJournal from high school…but dear Lord, I definitely don’t!) and I’m really enjoying the process.
Have you ever blogged for another person's site?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
You can vote here for the winner. Even if I can't win, I'm hoping it's one of the out of town folks who can come enjoy the magic and romantic feeling that is Winter in New York.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
I lost a pound this week, and what did it take to achieve that? Surprise, surprise, it required me to stay within my points limits, workout, track, drink water, follow the Good Health Guidelines, and more. Oh, what's that you say? Oh yes, it's the entire Weight Watchers program.
I think this just goes to show that when you are diligent, you stay on program, and you really monitor yourself, you will absolutely have success.
While doing this though, I did find some problems with my own self on program.
- Boredom. This topic is often brought up at weekly meetings. Because it is so rampant in the program! The same foods, the same routine, the same (or barely different) results. Now, if you are good about program, then the same-ness of this probably really works out for you. But I couldn't even survive one week of strict-on-program-ness without feeling desperate and trapped. And switching things up is TOUGH. Any suggestions with how to conquer this?
- Working out. Ugh. I hate it. I hate working out. There, I said it. I don't have to like it, I don't have to pretend to like it. But, I still have to do it. Even the 20 minute at home workout really puts a damper on my day. I will find any excuse NOT to do it.
- Watching everyone else. They don't have to count points, they don't have to exercise regularly, and they LOVE to eat. This. Is. Tough. I'm not going to give up going out with or hanging out with friends...so how do I get rid of food envy?
Let's not talk about what this past weekend was like then...yikes. But that's ok. I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to be good again. Sure, the loss won't be as big as last week when I stayed on track, but hopefully I can at least stay somewhat in the negatives!
How was your weigh-in this week? I hope you were successful!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
So it happened back in June. The fiancee was out of town, I was going crazy alone at home studying for the bar, so I packed my bags and headed to Mom and Dad's for a bit. This way, there was free meals, free laundry, and someone to entertain me when the crazies struck.
The other great thing: my mom is a gym-going-wild-woman. She loves her weekly classes, she loves the muscle conditioning, the ab workouts and her Zumba. This makes her a really good companion who keeps me consistent with my workouts while I'm home.
This fateful day, I was at the start of my half-marathon training. Yes, that is right. I had set my mind on running a half-marathon in October. According to some websites I found, as a novice runner (I literally had taken up running a few months before this, and it wasn't so long ago that I couldn't run a solid mile) it would only take me 12 weeks to be prepped for the half. Sure, I wouldn't be the fastest gal in the race, but I would finish it. And that was all I was shooting for.
At this point, my running had been all throughout my Brooklyn neighborhood, and although running outside had its downsides, I was really comfortable doing it. But now being in the 'burbs, the lack of sidewalks didn't seem as conducive to my outdoor training. So I hit the gym with my mama.
I was shooting for a 5-mile run that day. My longest at this point in the training (yeah, yeah, I wasn't that far into the training after all). So I'm running along on the treadmill. I'm trying to get a feel for it, trying to keep up with the pace I had set, and shooting to be done with the 5-mile run and a 1-mile walk by the time my mom was out of her class.
But then...something didn't feel right. My knee was...twitchy. It felt a little sore, it felt a little wrong. But I didn't twist or fall or bend funny. So I ignored it, laughed it off as paranoia (as both my mother and Brother M were in the process of recovering from their recent knee surgeries) and kept running.
I didn't hit my five mile mark that day. And two days later when I tried again, I barely made it to three. Two days after that? After 1/2 a mile I had to stop, the pain was so bad.
So other things got in the way (namely: the bar!), I just stopped the running for awhile, and hoped the pain would subside. But it didn't. It got worse! Even without running! My bike made it ache, the elliptical made it ache, and forget the spinning class I attempted to take...oy!
I saw a doctor a few weeks ago, and THANKFULLY the diagnosis was not one that required surgery. But I do have tendinitis in my knee. This means no running (for twelve weeks! ugh!), physical therapy (as soon as my bone-headed health insurance company stops being so bone-headed), anti-inflammatorys (fancy term for taking Advil three times a day), and a sad, lacking in cardio, Busy Bee.
So what am I doing now? Well, I'm consistently forgetting to take the Advil, and I'm fighting with my insurance company to pay for physical therapy. I've been using an at-home 20-minute fitness video, and I've been walking. I'm trying to shoot for what I can do without re-injuring or stressing my knee, but I'm also focused on my goal to lose weight, and that requires exercise! Sure, a mid-20-something gal should probably be able to do more than a 20 minute video and walking and call it exercise, but hey, sometimes life gets in the way, it throws you a curve ball or two, and you have to adapt! Most important, do NOT give up. So I won't use this bum knee as an excuse to sit on my couch and mope (at least not everyday), but I will use it as a great chance to get creative and see what else I can do for that extra cardio boost!
Have you ever had an injury that prevented you from reaching your goal?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
- Exercise: Although my gym membership is expired and although I can barely do any cardio (due to a knee injury) I can keep working on the exercise video I have from Netflix (I'll let you know more about that video when I have done it with more consistency). Also, the weather will be beautiful, so I should pull my bike out more and enjoy it while I can!
- Tracking: I did not track at all last week. Although obviously I was busy with wedding bonanzas, I'm not going to allow myself to make excuses. Why do I have the most expensive, inconsistent phone on the planet (ahem *iPhone*) if not but for the convenience of tracking? I will track. Every bite. Even the bites I'm not quite so proud of.
- Attitude: Shockingly, I think my attitude will make a big difference. Positive thinking will lead to a negative weigh-in. On the scale, I will see negatives if I think positively.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
In the past, Priscilla had always though that the smarter and more successful you were, the more you didn't need other people, the more you could do it all yourself. Priscilla had never asked anyone for anything. Now she was starting to think differently. Maybe the smarter you were, the sooner you recognized you were in trouble and asked for help. (The Necklace, Cheryl Jarvis, page 163, emphasis added)
I just felt that was so fitting with everything I'm going through right now. It's important to stop, and to know when you need to ask for help.
Is this something you recognize in your life? Are you any good at asking for help when you need it?
I have never been in contact with the author or the publisher of this book, and just wanted to share with you because I enjoy it so much! Here's where you can buy the book if you are interested: Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com